Greek’s say the funniest things.

Greek is far from an easy foreign language to learn. And then of course, there is the even more difficult level of everyday sayings and slang. Phrases are bandied around and you have no idea what is going on amid all the laughter. 1. You’ll eat wood (In England we say ‘I’ll wipe that smile off your face’) Remember what your mother used to shout when you were being naughty? Greek mothers say: ‘Tha fas xilo’, which means watch it, or you’ll be getting a slap. Xilo translates as wood; presumably this meant you were about to be hit with a piece of wood. 2. You’ve made my life a roller skate (In England we say ‘Give me a break’) If someone has made your life miserable and nothing is going right, you would shout: ‘Mou eheis kanei ti zoe patini’; living your life on roller skates. 3. Grab an egg and shave it (In England we say ‘Pigs might fly’) You may as well ‘Pias to avgo kai kourefto’ (grab an egg and shave it), because what you are asking is impossible. 4. I’ve lost my eggs and baskets (In England we say ‘I haven’t got the foggiest’) ‘Eho hasei ta avga kai ta pashalia’; this means you have no idea what is going on. 5. Pierce my nose Someone who knows everything and is never wrong, might say ‘If I’m wrong then pierce my nose’ (‘Tripa mou ti miti’). 6. He paid the bride This means if you were nowhere near the place and did nothing you will still be blamed (‘Plirose ti nifi’). The story goes that a wedding had been arranged and everyone was waiting at the church. The bride did not appear as she was in love with someone else. The groom set off to find her, swearing that he would kill her, but he couldn’t find her. His family decided to go to the bride’s home; at least they could take back the expensive gifts they had given. However, the father of the bride must have had an inkling of what was going on and had got the groom to sign a paper saying that whatever happened, whether the couple married or not, any presents given to the bride, were not to be returned. He paid the bride. 7. Slowly the cabbage This means that what you just said is boring and unimportant as a cabbage (‘Siga ta lahana’). 8. I wrote it on my old shoes You would say this, when you are speaking to someone, who clearly has no interest in what you are saying or they are ignoring you. ‘Se grafo sta palia mou ta papoutsia’, which means these old shoes mean nothing to me now so I’ve written your name on them, which amounts to the same thing. It is a little ruder when the words ‘my old shoes’ are replaced with the word for part of the male anatomy! 9. Your eyes fourteen (In England we say ‘Keep your eyes peeled’) ‘Ta matia sou dekatessera‘ means watch out. 10. Should I sniff my nails? ‘Na miriso ta nihia mou?’ This is how a Greek will say ‘How should I know?’, and if he sniffed his nails he would get the answer. Betting was a popular pastime in Ancient Greece and before they laid a bet, the Greeks would visit the oracle. The oracle would dip their fingers into a magic potion made from the oil of laurel leaves. They smelt their finger nails, which induced a trance in which the name of the winner would be revealed. 11. I don’t have any intestines left (In England we say ‘I laughed my head off’) ‘Den mas emine antero’, would be said when someone can’t stop laughing. 12. The feet got up to hit the head ‘Sikothikan ta podia na ktipisoun to kefali’, is said when someone is acting above his station, i.e. who do you think you are? 13. I ate a door ‘Efaga porta’, indicates a feeling of rejection or failure, i.e. the door was slammed in my face.. 14. The whore is happening (In England we say ‘Every man and his dog is here’) ‘Yinete tis poutanas’, is used to say that a bar, shop, market etc. is packed with people. 15. Shit in your face (In England we say ‘Don’t be a plonker all your life’) If someone is being stupid or says something silly the Greeks say: ‘Skata sta moutra sou’. 16. You fart on us/Wrote me on their butt If someone lets you down or stands you up say ‘Mas klaneis’ or ‘Me egrapsan ston kolo tous’. 17. I dropped her (In England we say ‘I had my wicked way’) ‘Tin eriksa‘, means I had my way with her. 18. We turned it into a brothel (In England we say ‘We turned it upside down’) When a place is a mess the Greeks will say: ‘To kaname bourdelo’. 19. It has made my balls swollen (In England we say ‘You’re doing my head in’) You just want someone to shut up then say: ‘Mou eprikse ta arhidia’. A bit more graphic than English! Waiting for more suggestions. Watch this space.